We often think of grief as something that slowly fades with time.
People say “it gets easier” or “you learn to live with it”. And sometimes that is true. But sometimes grief doesn’t soften, it becomes stuck.
You may be functioning, working, looking after others and doing everything you are supposed to do. Yet something inside feels heavy, flat or disconnected.
This is often what people describe as trapped grief.
What Trapped Grief Can Feel Like
As well as sadness grief can often appear as:
- emotional numbness
- irritability
- anxiety
- sleep disturbance
- feeling detached from life
- guilt for moving forward
- difficulty remembering positive moments
Many people feel confused because they believe they should be “past it by now”. Sometimes the loss was recent. Sometimes it happened years ago.
The mind, however does not process loss on a timeline.
Why Grief Gets Stuck
Grief needs space to be processed but often at the time of a loss we have to keep going.
We organise, support others, return to work, manage practical responsibilities and try to cope. The brain prioritises functioning and survival over emotional processing.
Instead of being felt and integrated, the experience becomes held.
The brain stores the emotional memory but cannot file it away. So it remains active in the background affecting mood, sleep and emotional responses.
People often say:
“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
The Protective Mind
Your brain is trying to protect you from being overwhelmed.
Sometimes the mind keeps emotions contained because at the time you could not safely experience them. Years later when life is quieter, those feelings can still sit beneath the surface.
This can lead to:
- sudden tears without clear reason
- strong reactions to small events
- avoiding reminders
- difficulty feeling joy
You are not doing grief wrong.
Your mind simply hasn’t had a chance to process it.
How Hypnotherapy Helps
Solution-focused hypnotherapy helps the brain enter a calm, focused state similar to REM sleep, the natural processing stage of the mind.
In this state, the brain can gently process emotional memories so they are no longer held as active experiences. The loss remains meaningful, but it stops overwhelming your present life.
You are not forgetting.
You are allowing your mind to carry it differently.
Clients often notice:
- improved sleep
- reduced emotional heaviness
- more emotional stability
- the ability to remember without distress
- gradually, moments of peace
Moving Forward Isn’t Leaving Behind
Many people fear processing grief means letting go of the person or the importance of the loss.
It doesn’t.
Grief changes when the mind no longer needs to hold it in a protective state. Memories become softer and connection can be felt without pain dominating it.
Support is available in Bath, Paulton, Midsomer Norton and online.
Healing space and time for body and mind…